How to make yourself more likable

How to make yourself more likable I am back with the farmer. This probably is not surprising to you, because admittedly, it is absurd to be engaged one day and not engaged the next day. But there are exacerbating factors, and basically, the way I got him back was to be more likable. I have spent most of my career overcoming my lack of social skills by studying research about what makes people likable. And I think the research Ive applied so systematically in my career is finally helping me in my personal life. Heres what we know about being likable: 1. Dont give ultimatums. Its disrespectful. Instead, be a negotiator. The farmer does not want to be in this blog. As you might imagine, we have this discussion a lot. First it was like this: Him: I dont want to be in the blog. Me: You have to be. I cant live without writing my life. Then the conversation was like this: Him: I dont want to be in the blog. Me: How about if you can edit whatever you want? 2. Try to think about situations from the other persons perspective. That worked for a while. But the problem is that Ive been setting boundaries about what I write about for my whole life. Hes only been doing it for a year. And after the Thanksgiving Day post he felt like he did not do a good job. In hindsight, he thinks he should not have let me write about that. But heres the farmers dilemma: He is fascinated with the idea of living an honest life. And he loves watching me do it, but hes horrified to realize that there are a million versions of every story, and the person with the big blog audience gets extra weight for her story. 3. Dont hide what really motivates you; secretive people are not likable. So I am back with the farmer, but we have new rules about what I can write. Well, I think we do. We were going to. But then we had to think about the ramifications. If I dont write about the tension on a farm, then who is writing about that? Do you read The Pioneer Woman? I love her blog. I love her blog so much that I told my designer he should make me her blog. He said, You dont want her blog. Its huge. It probably takes five full-time people to run that blog. I said, No. I do want her blog. He said, I think you want her life. The Pioneer Woman does have a great life. Every guy in the photos on that blog is on a horse or about to get on a horse, and all the men are hot. Their rear ends poke out of chaps. Everywhere. And their tough, gritty faces suggest theyd ravish me in bed. Sure I want that blog, and that life. I also love how that The Pioneer Woman never, never never disrespects her guy. The Marlboro Man. Thats his name. Hes always studly, sexy, kind, fun. The farmer is that, too, but there are issues. Hes not studly when were having a fight. The problem is that Im drawn to writing about the fights, and the Pioneer Woman is drawn to writing about pies, and feeding the Marlboro Man. I am a great cook. But this is not the sort of thing that would go over well on this blog. Im the kind of cook that understands principles of food so I dont ever use a recipe. But Im not drawn to tell you how to make pot roast perfectly as a precursor to cowboy sex. Im more drawn to tell you that I experimented with fruit in stew and accidentally used bad wine, and to fix it I laced it with brown sugar. And its not just that the farmer wouldnt eat it, but neither would the farm cats, who will eat almost anything in winter. I want to put a recipe of that. The worst stew ever. With grass-finished beef, of course. Because the farmer gets a full cow butchered and then stores it in his freezer. And before he knew me he used to turn everything into microwaved hamburger, but now he brings me gifts of frozen cuts of grass-finished beef that I defrost over days and turn into dinners to wow him. The secret, really, to amazing cooking with beef is to spend a lot of money on ingredients and then do almost nothing to them. The farmer did not know this until he was with a city girl who will spend $5.00 on a bag of spinach. 4. Try to look at the positive side of things; people like optimists. I digress. Sort of. Not really, though. Because what Im telling you is that what would be perfect is if I could be the Pioneer Woman and only tell you good things about me and the farmer. But what about that shes living on a family-owned ranch that is a business, and surely, she had to sign a prenup? Surely her in-laws are nuts over the possibility that their son gets run over by a stampede and she inherits his part of the ranch and marries a different guy with a tight ass in flowing chaps and gives her share of the ranch to him? What about that? Was there discussion? Is there discussion over that she has so much traffic on her blog that surely she earns more money than the Marlboro Man? This is not easy stuff to deal with. But there is nothing about that. Unfortunately, for me, the world loves reading the Pioneer Woman. And so do I. Shes upbeat and her site is gorgeous, and no kidding: the minute the farmer broke off my engagement I started thinking theres gotta be a guy on her ranch whos right for me. But I am drawn to write about only the hard things. I dont need help from a blog community to know that Im great in the kitchen. I need help from a blog community to figure out my anger management problems . Because I need to fix that fast: The farmer wont put up with me yelling anymore. So I guess thats what Ill blog about. I have an anger problem with the farmer, and, honestly, everyone at work is sick of my anger issues, too. So I have a problem. Its so much more interesting than the cupcakes that I decorate so well that my friend said she could sell them in SoHo. 5. Understand peoples boundaries and respect them. This would be a great place for a picture. Of a cupcake. But what Id like is a picture of me, and the farmer. He wont do that. He is figuring out boundaries. And thats definitely one. Another is yelling. And another is his family. I am figuring out boundaries, too. I would be insane to say that my blog is more important than he is. But, in some ways, it is. My blog is what makes me able to support myselfI can support myself, somehow, as long as Im posting to my blog. And my blog is what makes me able to not feel isolated on a farm in the middle of nowhere. Im always connected to people if Im blogging. But I told him that Id stop blogging about him if he wants me to. I could offer that only because I knew he wouldnt want me to. He likes it. He likes that we would have had to keep a secret, forever, that we considered an abortion, but now we can talk about it openly and he can tell people what he thinks. Hes from a farm in the back, dead end street of a road in the middle of nowhere. No one ever asked him what he thought of abortion before. Its interesting to him. To have a real discussion. It makes him uncomfortable. But the thing is that the stuff that is most interesting to me is what makes me uncomfortable. So we agree that we are back to where we were: Me blogging and him getting final edit to any post with him in it. And I say, Thank you so much. You make me feel really loved. He says, Tell that to your readers so they know that. And I say, They already do.

How To Do An Informational Interview - VocationVillage

How To Do An Informational Interview - VocationVillage Dear VocationVillage.com, I am currently an art student planning to pursue a career in the art field, in graphic design, illustration, marketing, etc. I love to draw and my dream job would be concept art, but for now, I am looking for a way to get my foot in the door and work my way up. I am not sure where to start, or what my portfolio should look like. I have about 1.5 years of education, and I have worked for a private studio before, as well as doing some volunteer work for a church where I designed flyers, programs, and such for advertising. I am not afraid of hard work. I work full time and go to school full time as well. Eventually I want to freelance and have my own business. My teachers in art school say that I shouldnt worry too much about my portfolio yet, but I am not sure they are right. Should I do some informational interviews with professionals in my field to find out what I should be doing? If so, how would I go about doing that?Signed, Jay Atlanta, GADear Jay, You are absolutely right that doing some informational interviews would be the next best step for you. No one knows better than industry insiders what a competitive field is like. I wrote this article about how to do an informational interview and you can tailor the suggested questions to your specific career situation. Be sure to ask interviewees what skills are valued for your target niche, what experience is essential to land an entry level job, and exactly what your portfolio should contain. Interview at least 3-4 people so that you arent making career decisions based on only one persons opinion.Hope this helps!

The Best Way to Write a Resume

The Best Way to Write a ResumeIf you are looking for a resume writing service that can deliver well written, professional resumes to clients in Bundaberg North Queensland, you should get in touch with a local provider. The service providers in Bundaberg are well experienced and have the right skills and experience in this field. It is best to find out from the providers about their professional credentials and their reputations before you finalise on any particular one.A Bundaberg North Queensland resume writing service will be able to help you in filling your job application forms. To make it simple, you should see that the providers have the capability to produce a comprehensive workable resume that is professionally crafted. If there is anything missing, then they should be able to add it in the form of a neat and professional manner. Also, your resume needs to be unique and not to copied or plagiarized, as this might be a major problem for you.When you hire a professional service in Bundaberg, you can be rest assured that your job application will be read. In fact, the most important part of a job application is that it should be read, after all. Also, if you do not have a head start when it comes to the job application and documentation phase, then you will be a lot worse off.Professional resume writers in Bundaberg offer several unique options for writing resumes. For instance, you can select from the category of essay-style resumes or biographical resumes. You can also tailor your resume according to the qualifications you possess. Most importantly, the resume writing service in Bundaberg offers the same option for job seekers.The service providers of the area are well aware of the various techniques that are used by recruiters to come up with a candidate's resume. Therefore, they have learned how to tailor a resume in such a way that it looks like the desired one. You will be impressed by the final result and your chances of being selected for the job w ill definitely improve.The professional resume writing services in Bundaberg also use some cutting edge technology in composing the workable resumes. Their user-friendly interface makes it easy for you to prepare your own customised resume. They are ready with different formats for creating customised resumes. Moreover, they have automated techniques for producing neat, professionally written resumes and job applications.Some of the professionals working as the online and offline hiring professionals in Bundaberg are well familiar with the practice of sourcing candidates from online sources. Therefore, they have a range of tools at their disposal to complete this task for you. This saves time and money as there is no need to physically travel to meet potential employees.There are other advantages of using the services of a professional resume writing service in Bundaberg. Whether you want to select from the different formatting options available or you want to send your resume to mu ltiple employers, they can accommodate your needs.

Interviews Are A Two Way Process Are You Doing Your Bit - Margaret Buj - Interview Coach

Interviews Are A Two Way Process Are You Doing Your Bit When it comes to the interview process, the focus is, quite rightly, on how you come across. There are endless articles on everything from how to perfect your handshake, to advice on dressing to impress. And, all these are essential if you want to secure the jobs you go for. But, we often neglect to consider that interviews are a two-way process. Unless you’ve targeted the company, it’s unlikely you know at this stage whether the job would be right. As such, you’re also interviewing the business in a way. It’s not unheard of for people to turn down jobs they’re offered because they didn’t like the company. It also isn’t unheard of for people to leave soon after starting because they’ve chosen a bad fit. The issue there, of course, is that a short role is a messy thing to have on your CV. So, instead of risking a job which isn’t right for you, it’s essential that you interview them as they interview you. Of course, you need to be a little more subtle about it than they do. Hence why we’ve put together a list of the ways you can tell whether a company offers what you’re after. How do they communicate with you? From the off, consider the communications you have with the company in question. Are they open and forward with their efforts to contact you, or do you have to chase them? Do they put you at ease, or leave you feeling as though they aren’t really listening to you? All these things are essential. After all, if you’re working with these people, you’re going to be in constant communication with them. If you struggle to get hold of someone to speak about your interview, it’s a sure sign communication isn’t great. And, that’s not easy to work around when you’re trying to get jobs finished. What’s more, sharp and unwelcoming communications could be a sign that the team are unfriendly. Going further, that could suggest they aren’t happy in their positions. Or, it may be a warning that there’s a close-knit circle, and they don’t like letting people in. Either way, these could be red flags for a workplace you’d struggle to get along in. Equally, friendly communications in the early days could be a good sign that you’d fit right in. Pay attention to how you feel when you get off the phone. It’ll tell you a lot about moving forward. Do a quick Google search It’s also essential you do a quick Google search on the company before your interview. It’s likely you were already doing this with the aim of finding information to drop into answers. But, it serves another purpose, as well. By Googling the company, you can find out about any legal issues and disputes which are in the public domain. And, that could be incredibly telling about what they’re like as an employer. Some of this stuff won’t be available to the public. But, if a disgruntled employee wins a case, it isn’t unusual for the company to be named and shamed. Take particular efforts to see whether they’ve been involved in anything like a national minimum wage investigation. Issues of injury in the workplace are also worth your attention. If you find many cases against your company, you might be better off steering clear. Equally, finding nothing is a sure plus point. Make the most of your chance to ask questions Of course, it isn’t all about what you do before the interview. There will also come a time, in any interview process, where your employer will ask you if you have any questions. And, this is where you can nail this company down. Asking questions work in your favour anyway, as it shows you’re interested and willing. But, it also allows you to ask about things which worry you. Obviously, you need to be subtle and smart here. Firing a lot of accusatory questions is sure to prevent you from getting the job. But, choosing your words wisely and limiting your questions as much as possible is all it takes. There’s nothing wrong with asking about things such as the corporate culture and the opportunities to grow within your role. In fact, such questions would only make it look as though you’re interested. All the while, you can use their answers to get a better feel for the company. And, remember; if you don’t like what they say, you don’t have to accept the role.

Eliminate This Filler Word

Eliminate This Filler Word Eliminate This Filler Word You are wasting time, space and air by using this filler word in your bio, summary and pitch. It is probably one of the most meaningless, over-used words in job search. What is it? Eliminate This Filler Word Professional How many of you use this on your resume? In your LinkedIn profile? In your pitch? Wasted Space You use it as filler because you dont know how else to describe yourself. I get it. But it is a very long word- four syllables, and 12 characters (if you spell it correctly). Empty Meaning And if you arent a professional, then are you an amateur? What are you implying when you use that word? Do you mean you have experience within a specific role? If you are using this word are missing the opportunity to highlight specific skills. You may want to keep your options open, but this isnt the way to do market yourself. Missing SEO Im not a recruiter, however, I am pretty sure there isnt one recruiter out there searching for the term professional. Search Engine Optimization (SEO) is officially defined as: the process of maximizing the number of visitors to a particular website by ensuring that the site appears high on the list of results returned by a search engine This means that if someone searches anywhere online for words (think key words like  skills, certifications, technology, etc.) the people with the greatest match for specific key words show up at the top of the list of search results. Shouldnt you describe yourself using words that people are actually looking for? Take A look At These Here are shots of profiles from LinkedIn to help you see how these professionals have missed the boat. And here are examples from Twitter. Let me cut these people some slack. Most of these folks are probably not looking for jobs, so they arent paying as much attention to how they brand themselves. But is this really an excuse? Suggested Replacements If you are serious about creating the right online image, say what you really mean or leave it out! Both LinkedIn and Twitter allow your headline/bio 160 characters. Use them wisely! Instead of Digital Marketing Professional, be more precise. Digital Marketing. Campaign strategy and implementation. Increasing ROI and engagement.  (87 characters) Instead of Project Management Professional, include context. Coordinate  Software Development team. Manage  timelines, people and budgets across the world bringing gaming solutions to customers.  (131 characters) Instead of IT Professional, state skills. Oversee Enterprise Applications ERP.  Monitor  system security.    Trouble-shoot telecom and network systems.  MCSE, MCP, CCIE, A+  (128 characters) As For Your Pitch I can hear it now. I am a Non-Profit professional with x number of years working in the non-profit industry. Lets tell the real story Ive been advocating for  inner-city youth within a community wide organization for X number of years. I orchestrate and incorporate programs within partner groups to develop financial literacy, healthy eating habits, and self confidence for some of our citys most at risk kids. Is using the word professional taking the easy way out? Is it lazy? Or is it just that we dont know any better?

Using Quizlet For Writing Your Resume Objective

Using Quizlet For Writing Your Resume ObjectiveQuizlet is a great tool that will allow you to put in all the details of what you want to put in your resume objective. It can help with writing your resume objective in a way that it doesn't sound too dry or boring, and can save you time.When using quizlet, you simply have to enter all the details of what you want to say in your long list, and then select them one by one, and then hit the button that says 'Record.' Then after you've done this a few times, you'll be able to see if you have actually included everything you need to put in your resume objective. And you can click on the tab to see the type of information that is already in your resume objective.Typing the information into quizlet is really easy and you can even let quizlet do the typing for you as well. You don't have to worry about getting the spelling right, because quizlet can auto correct for you.One thing that you should keep in mind when you are writing your resume ob jective is that you don't need to include everything you might be asked to in your resume. You may not want to include things like a job reference or a past salary. If you need more information about that, you'll have to do it manually when you are compiling your resume.The one thing that you need to make sure that you don't leave out in your short list is the keywords that you use in your resume. Quizlet can help you find those keywords that you might be using in your resume.You can get more information about quizlet at their website, and they are a free study tool. They are easy to use and you can get tips on how to use them.So, if you are looking for a great resume writing tool that will allow you to save time and have a more organized job search, check out quizlet. You'll definitely be glad that you took a look at their site and found out all the good things about quizzes.

How to Deal With an Annoying Coworker

How to Deal With an Annoying Coworker It’s never a pleasant experience when you have a falling out with a coworker. You can’t necessarily give that person a piece of your mind, and it’s definitely not wise to sweep the situation under the rug, because that will only makes things worse for everyone in the end. What’s an angry, disgruntled worker to do? Understand What Anger Is Although anger isn’t necessarily an emotion that we’re proud of, it is a vital component of our survival. “Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats,” so it triggers emotions that “allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked,” according to anger specialist, psychologist Charles Spielberger, PhD. However, just because anger is part of our natural survival instincts, doesn’t mean it’s OK to lash out at everyone and everything that makes you angry, especially in the workplace. Use these seven steps to help get your anger under control and handle the situation professionally, before it turns into a hostile work environment for you and your coworker. Read More: Want a Flexible Schedule? These 5 Job Types Might Be Your Best Bet Remove yourself from the toxic person/situation. The best thing to do when you feel your anger rising is to physically remove yourself from the environment and go somewhere that allows you some privacy and time to regroup. Staying in the situation or with the person who’s making you mad will only fuel the fire, so do yourself a favor and go get some space. Allow yourself to be angry. People often mistake burying their anger with dealing with it. Don’t try and convince yourself that you’re not angry, because that will only make things worse. Allow yourself some time to feel your anger, so that you can better understand why you’re angry and how to manage the situation in a levelheaded and professional manner. Otherwise, you’ll fool yourself into thinking that you’re OK (when you’re really not), and the next time your coworker does something to upset you, it’ll all come pouring out in one anger-filled rant â€" making you look bad in front of your peers and supervisors. People often mistake burying their anger with dealing with it. Don’t try and convince yourself that you’re not angry, because that will only make things worse. Read More: 3 Ways to Make Awkward Salary Negotiations Go More Smoothly Pay attention to how anger is affecting your physical body and mind. During episodes of anger and rage, your judgment becomes clouded and you may become more agitated, annoyed, and aggressive than usual. If you’re not careful, this rage can cause you to do and say things that you may regret later. Therefore, sit in your anger and try to pay attention to how the feelings are affecting your thoughts and your body. You’ll notice that your body is tenser and your thoughts are racing. Your heart rate will be high because of all the adrenaline pumping through your body. Recognizing what anger does to your body and mind may help you realize that it’s not worth it to let someone else affect you like this, which will hopefully bring you a sense of control that will allow you to start coming down from your rage. Understand that you have control over your anger. When you’re in a fit of rage, it’s easy to feel like you’ve lost control of your emotions and actions, which is a scary feeling. However, remember that your anger does not control you, you control your anger. It’s understandable that your ego is bruised and you’re feeling wild, crazy emotions, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability to stop this from continuing. The first step in actually managing the physical and psychological effects of anger is to understand that you’re in the driver’s seat and have full control. You choose whether you want to sit and wallow in negativity, or do something constructive to deal with the situation in a mature and professional manner â€" ultimately, it’s your choice, not anyone else’s. Practice deep breathing or meditate. Now that you’ve got a grip on your emotions, it’s time to regain control of your mind, body, and energy. Start by practicing some deep breathing and focus predominately on your breaths and nothing else. This will allow your body to physically calm down, which will in turn allow you to regroup and regain your clarity. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique to help calm your central nervous system and counteract stress. Another way to regain focus and control is to meditate. You don’t have to be a pro at meditating to benefit from the practice; all you have to do is sit quietly, without interruption, and focus on your breathing and the present. Don’t ruminate about what happened or what may happen. Just focus on what you’re doing in the moment, which should be breathing. If it helps, put in some ear buds and play some calming, meditative music. If you find your thoughts wandering off, simply bring your focus back to your breathing. Read More: 5 Ways Nature Can Fix Your Career Try to pinpoint why you’re angry. Some common elements of anger include feelings of unfairness, loss, blame, pain, and focus on things we fear and don’t want to happen, says Tina Su in her article for Think Simple Now. Try to figure out why you’re so angry and whether or not it has something to do with things going on in your life. For example, consider these questions: Are you projecting your emotions/insecurities onto the other person, or vice versa? Are you being too sensitive? Are you having a bad day? Do you need to establish better boundaries with this person? Are you overextending yourself to others? Are you expecting too much from this person? The point of this exercise is to figure out where the anger is coming from. Often, if you’re going through a tough time in your personal life, it’s easy to carry those struggles into the workplace and take it out on others, without even knowing you’re doing it. Likewise, you may feel like you’re being taken advantage of if you’re constantly helping others out at work and falling short in your own work. Try to figure out what’s sparking the anger so that you can better understand how to deal with it. Vent to a trusted source. If all else fails, vent to someone you trust â€" because sometimes the best medicine for a fit of rage is to just get it all out. Be sure that this person will provide you with constructive and mature advice that will help your situation, not worsen it. For the sake of not contributing to office gossip, consider venting to someone who isn’t your coworker â€" maybe a trusted friend or family member, your significant other, or even your therapist, if you have one. Refrain from venting to your boss, especially if they’re a source of your anger. Hopefully these steps will help you navigate your anger so that you can find some clarity and resolution. Working in an environment where there are so many different personalities can be challenging, but that’s not to say it’s impossible. Sometimes, these negative situations at work bring you closer to coworkers from whom you would otherwise distance yourself. Try to find the silver lining in all this, because we all have our struggles â€" they just might look different from the outside.